Random Chinese update

So it’s hard to wrap my head around this, but I’ve been in Shijiazhuang for over two months now and I’m sort of/kind of getting the hang of things. It seems semi-bizarre to me to have “life as usual” in China, but I am done with the “Oh my God, what am I doing here” portion of the program. In a way, my daily life is a little like reliving the college experience. I’m in an apartment building that all the foreign teachers live in, so everyone is a few short flights of stairs away, just like the dorms. I spend time outside of class living in sweat pants eating instant food and drinking cheap bear; again, just like college. Half my classes don’t start until the afternoon and so I roll out of bed around eleven, surf the internet, putz around doing nothing of meaning until it’s time to leave for classes. The only difference is that now after a night of drinking I can’t wander into class the next day in my sweats and wearing last night’s make up. Now roles have reversed; I’m the teacher not the student and I have to bear some semblance of responsibility and maturity. I’m not quite sure if I’ve pulled it off with success yet; but time will tell.
Most days have a series of similar components: I teach classes, I wash my dishes while taking a shower for lack of a kitchen sink, I e mail someone from home, I try a new Chinese restaurant, or eat out at one of my regular favorites. Since the outdoor barbeque is now closed for the season, I’ve been getting my fix of potatoes sautéed in garlic and vinegar, as well as cabbage, cauliflower, and sweet and sour pork. I also have a “burger guy” I go to on a regular basis for 2 kuai burgers, which is equivalent to about 34 cents; cheap and good! Plus, the guy knows by now I don’t like it spicy and I am adamantly against onions contaminating my duck burger. Yeah, it’s not quite like McDonald's. Here in China, my burger options consist of duck, pork, or donkey. In case you were wondering, I have tried the donkey burger, and it wasn’t quite my cup of tea. But you never know, maybe I just ate a donkey that was having an off day. Every once in a while, I’ll have an out of the ordinary food related experience that catches me off guard. For example, last week a student asked if I wanted to have lunch with her and eat duck. I like duck, so I was all for it. As she and I are walking together after class, I ask her what restaurant we are going to, and she replies, “No restaurant. I have it with me.” She then proceeds to pull a full duck in plastic wrapping out of her purse. You just don’t see that every day. FYI, the purse duck was freaking fantastic. I need to start carrying birds in my handbag; maybe it’s some sort of flavoring technique that we haven’t picked up on yet in The States.
Speaking of food, I’ve been able to now order some of my favourite dishes on my own without needing a translator, and my language skills are progressing a bit in other areas as well. And by a bit, I do mean like a teensy eensie baby bit. If I haven’t stressed this before, Chinese is hard! I’ve been practicing with taxi drivers and random people I meet, or students that I go out to lunch with because they are always eager to teach me new phrases. Sadly, the vast bulk of the language still eludes me. Too many times I’ve fallen into the trap of just nodding and smiling and the people look at me like I’m a daft idiot when they have clearly asked me a question that does not require a yes or no answer. I’m guessing, and hoping, that it gets easier and that more and more comprehension will start to seep into my brain, and I’m hoping that’s not just me being naïve and foolishly optimistic.
As I’m adapting, I’m becoming more adept at picking up on the subtle nuances of Chinese culture that I hadn’t anticipated before arriving. First, I’ve mentioned the four tones before which dictate the pronunciation of a word and its meaning, but as it turns out there is a fifth tone I didn’t know about. If you listen carefully, you can hear this elusive and difficult-to- master fifth tone multiple times a day, most often on the streets; the tone starts deep in the throat and is completed when a loogie is officially hocked up and released onto the pavement. The Chinese have perfected the art of the fifth tone, but I think they’re still trying to improve their crafts, because I hear them practicing all day long. They’re diligent, I tell you.
Another aspect of Chinese culture which I hadn’t anticipated was the inner workings of Chinese logic. Or to be frank, lack thereof. Well there might be some logic, but it makes no logical sense, so I don’t know if it can technically be defined as logic. You may be thinking this seems a little harsh, and Big Brother if you’re reading, I’m sorry to offend you, but even you have to be with me on this one. Living here has given me so much respect for the Chinese culture in so many ways; after all, this is an ancient civilization responsible for the creation of gun powder and the compass among other things. Who doesn’t love the compass? But logic and efficiency, in my opinion, cannot be added to China’s “Things We Do Well” list. It’s not just me; you can ask almost any foreigner who has stayed here for any length of time; there is just an ass backwards way of thinking in this country.
Let me give you a small scale example from my first brush with Chinese “logic.” In the first few weeks here I had to hand over my passport so that official paperwork could be completed- not a big deal, I wasn’t using it anyways. One day when I’m in the middle of teaching a class, my supervisor trekked the five flights of stairs to my classroom and then tells me she needs to speak to me privately. Thinking this is semi-urgent, I make up something to occupy my class and step outside. She hands me my passport and says, “Here is your passport. But please bring it to me after class so I can make a copy.” Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m thinking it would make more sense to make a copy BEFORE bringing it to me in the middle of class. Chances were I didn’t need it for that particular hour and a half stretch of the day, but this is a classic example of Chinese “logic.”
The passport incident is only one small and seemingly insignificant anecdote, but I’m telling you, so much of the country is operated on this sort of thought process. I’ve been to the grocery store so many times and have bought a week and a half worth of groceries, only to be greeted by the same question, “Do you want a bag?” Nah, I thought I would practice my juggling skills on the way home and see how much of this crap I could keep in the air. Really? I just don’t get it. To be honest though, it’s more amusing than frustrating, and I suppose there is a possibility that the logic is so far above my head that maybe I haven’t yet grasped its genius inner workings. And in all fairness, if we started examining Western logic, there are so many holes it’s like looking at Swiss cheese.
But loogies and logic aside, I am in love with living here. I really am. I can’t pinpoint one specific thing about China that I love, but for some reason I love it all. I love the fruit vendors, and the street food, and the packaged milk, and the stray dogs on the street. I love that strangers giggle or stare at me with perplexed faces when I smile at them for no reason at all. I love that the streets are lined with pool tables and I love that friends here hold hands just because. I love hailing a taxi and practicing the only Chinese phrases I know with the driver. I even love that most of the time I understand nothing of what’s being said around me and everything is white noise, because it pushes me to want to learn. I love that I am learning something every day about the people, or the language, or the food, or myself and that I am not entirely one hundred percent at ease here. I mean that only in the best possible way, because if I felt one hundred percent comfortable here, then I wouldn’t be doing what I set out to do, which is challenge myself and get scared a little shitless. In truth, the streets are often filled with trash, the people don’t wear seat belts, and I have major ethical objections to the internet filters, but I love living in this bizarre parallel universe.