Winter Vacation Part One!

Finals are over, grades have been posted, visas obtained. I now have 6 days of blissful nothingness before my winter extravaganza begins. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ecstatic for the 5 week vacation I’m about to embark on. But I, much like everyone, am reveling in some much needed down time. Many friends of mine have traveled to Harbin – a city so cold that tourists’ nipples have been rumored to freeze and fall right off. I myself opted to stay in Shijiazhuang and prep for my upcoming vacation. As a compulsive list maker, I have already made detailed and categorized lists of where I will be staying, and everything I could possibly need. Now all I have to do is pack, and have an endless Lost marathon until Barrett arrives on the 16th. I’m aware that the TV show Lost has been a pop culture staple for the past 6 years, but I’m a little behind the times and am just now starting to watch Season 3. ADDICTING. I blame China and its ridiculously cheap pirated DVDs.
Now the morning of the 16th has arrived, and it’s a day I’ve been waiting for since I first got here. Barrett is coming to China and let me tell you, I have missed this guy. I have been counting down to this day for a few months now, and it’s actually here. Intending to be awesome, I plan it so my train will arrive a few hours before his plane gets in and I can greet him at the gate and it will be running towards each other in slow motion awesomeness. In reality, I couldn’t find the subway and he ends up waiting at the Airport Starbucks for me for an hour. The best laid plans of mice and men…
So, we check into our hotel and order over priced room service and yada yada, fast forward to the next morning. On the agenda today: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, and Beihai Park. So, after a full day of sight-seeing, I get the impression that Barrett might be just slightly overwhelmed by the throngs of Chinese people staring, soliciting their tacky crap, and asking us to pose for photo ops. For a laid back guy who enjoys all that is mellow, this was all a bit intrusive. He was managing ok until on the way to dinner we stepped off the subway and into a fresh pile of someone’s puke. I did a little ice skating maneuver through the vomit mound and ended up with chunky splatter all the way up to my knees. I mean, really! What a way to start a nice evening at the Outback. And you don’t have to worry, I will not turn this blog into an homage to my favorite western restaurant, but believe me, I could.
So after eating my deliciously seared prime rib with an all inclusive baked potato and heavenly Caesar salad topped with freshly made croutons, we decide to call it an early night. Why, you ask? Because at 6:20 am we are departing for the Great Wall! Thinking a challenge would be fun, we choose the Simatai section of the Wall. Simatai is the farthest from Beijing, the least touristy, and also the least restored and also the most vigorous section. Looking back, I probably should have taken into account that Barrett and I are both semi-lazy and out of shape, but hind sight is 20/20. The Great Wall is by far one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen. Pictures do not do it justice, and the brochures were right: there were no other tourists. The views are picturesque, and being there really makes you stop and appreciate the 200 years it took to build this massive fortress. That being said, the Wall is a wee pain in the ass. It is steep, stairs alternate between ridiculously tiny to insanely large within a span of 4 seconds, and I almost lost my footing numerous times. My classes at the university may be held on the 6th floor of the building, but those daily 5 flight hikes did not prepare me for the workout of the Great Wall. Note to future self: get off ass and do some exercise or you will regret it in the midst of sight-seeing activities.
So with sore and quivering calves we return to our hotel to prep for the 2nd leg of our journey. We are headed to Hainan Island; the Hawaii of Asia. The northern section of the island is a more cultural and realistic portrayal of China, and the southern section being the resort/tropical paradise portion. Being a bit of a traveling snob, I want to go to the northern section to soak up the true experience of China and not just lounge on the beach with a daiquiri in hand like some spoiled tourist. I lasted 3 days before I thought, “To hell with this. I want my daiquiri.” Haikou was an alright city, but the weather was gloomy, the streets were dirty, and the mattress at the hostel rivaled with concrete for comfort. People kept raving about the city of Sanya, so we booked a room at the only available hotel, The Holiday Inn, and made the journey south.
I hate to admit it, but give me tropical drinks by the pool side any day. Life in Sanya is mostly devoid of authentic Chinese culture, but a few days by the beach and tropical poolside is good for the soul. The highlights of Sanya include gorgeous views, swimming in the ocean, drinking cocktails on the beach with a background of fireworks, and a bed that is not rock solid. So what could possibly be the downside to this tropical paradise? For starters, the prices here are exorbitant. The first shock to my system is a $50 laundry bill. I thought they would stick the clothes in the washer and hang them out to dry….but nope, they press them and wrap each article of clothing in sealed plastic. Is it just me, or is that not only bad for the environment but also ridiculously inconvenient? Everything, ranging from taxi rides to meals, is jacked up about 4 times the price it would normally be on the mainland. I guess all good things come at a price, and if tourists are willing to pay it, why not? I also thought it would be a kick in the pants to try new things, so I pay to hang out in a hot spring where “fish doctors” nibble at my dead skin for half an hour until I emerge silky and smooth. I’m not sure what was going on in my head when I deemed this a good idea. I pay for half an hour, and I make it about 6 minutes; in those 6 minutes I get out at least 3 or 4 times. Never ever ever again. In another effort to be cool and embrace the island life, I order a coconut to drink from, and much to my dismay it tastes like bath water. I suppose not all aspects of tropical paradise are meant to be awesome.
The last item on the agenda is to go to Sanya’s famous location, “The End of the Earth.” This beach was once thought to be the most remote corner of the planet, and drew the attention of poets, writers, and admirers alike. As the story goes, it was on this beach that two forbidden lovers of the Romeo and Juliet fashion were forced to jump in the sea and were struck by lightning thus turning them into stone. The lovers/rocks are now intertwined in the ocean for all eternity, destined to be a tourist hot spot for all time. Being here I can appreciate the beauty that once drew the scholars and artists, but it’s a bit hard to appreciate it with the thousands of Chinese tourists mulling about. And they have to pose in front of EVERYTHING. Any enjoyment that could have been experienced from this magnificent scene is thwarted by Chinese families stopping every 8 seconds for a photo op with their peace signs a blazin'. Of course with the peace signs. Always with the peace signs. I am suddenly remembering why I avoid places like this, and now I am craving the quiet, cheap food, and a little bit of authenticity. Cue the last leg of the trip with Barrett: the small fishing village of Bo’ao, so awesome that I think it merits its own blog.